An Entire Box of Cookies

I just ate an entire box of chocolate chip cookies. My god.

I haven’t had a moment to pause recently, and now I’m just beginning to appreciate that today was my last day of classes. I mean, I have a whole month and a half to fill outside of the university! Oh, man. I don’t really want to travel, because I’d probably just go off with some English speakers and avoid speaking Chinese. Plus, I don’t have the curiosity right now to explore further afield. I’m still very occupied with the language and trying to find my place here.

There’s a tendency to just take every that flies my way, but I realize now that I have to make some decisions if I’m really going to feel good about my time here in China. Many of the people I meet here want to interact with me using very poor English. It’s maddening. And very hard to avoid. I need to be more assertive with my Chinese, but I also need to learn more so I can use it more often. Of course, I expect to speak silly English with my students or language exchange, but I need to resist other low-level English interactions. It’s hard enough allowing myself to talk to Mari or folks from back home… or BLOGGING. Heh. But that’s different because I’m really expressing myself in a way I really can’t in Chinese. The simple day-to-day stuff should be done in Chinese. Even the internal monologue: “I better get up now.” or “Where did I put my bag?” Chinese only please! It’s beginning to happen.

I’m actually feeling pretty homesick. I talked to Mom on the phone for her birthday. Mark, Leigh, Emily, and Ben were visiting for the big gardening shopping spree. It’s very hard to let your head straddle these two worlds. It’s easier just to forget one for a while. But I really miss Jeremy and my family. I suppose I’m also bummed because I keep missing Jeremy. We’ve both been busier lately — the bar exam is rapidly approaching for J — so we haven’t caught up in a bit. I’ve been really spoiled connecting with him — voice and video conversations — every other day at least. But it’s been a few days now.

Actually, I’m in better spirits now, because I had a lovely meal this evening with Mari. She’s been crazy sick with a fever for a few days, so it was great to see her out and about. We splurged and got pizza. Wow! It was wonderful. It’s funny how talkative we are together. I don’t feel like I’m normally such a chatterbox, but we get along great. It’s too bad that she’s only around for another few weeks. I think she and Jeremy would really click too.

Oh, Jeremy bought me a digital camera! Looks pretty cool. I think rather than having him mail it I’ll wait for him to hand-deliver it. I seem to remember that there are some crazy customs issues about bringing electronics into China. Anyway, so when he arrives I’ll begin to fill the blog with photos. Yay!